310,638 notes · 9 hours ago

i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

(submitted by anonymous)

76,813 notes · 9 hours ago
17,681 notes · 2 days ago

asvprock:

Reasons I’m Ignoring you:

1. You’re annoying.

2. You suck at texting.

3. You suck at life.

4. Your last message was (K.)

5. I’d rather watch paint dry.

6,345 notes · 3 days ago